❝ You don't have a home ❞

Ever since he could remember Neal had been desperate for a family of his own again, after his own abandoned him. He had been nowhere near being able to find something close to that, until he had met Emma.

Someone who he'd been ready to settle down with, until he learnt of a destiny she had to save a bunch of people, and, that would allow her to find her parents, and, home. Something she may never have gotten with him.

But, he realised he had a chance at a family again when August had brought him his son. A son he hadn't known about, but, knew he had a responsibility to take care of, and, be there for. 

'This is your son Neal.'

'My son? Are you sure?'

'I'm quite sure Neal.'

'Hey. Hey there little guy. I'm your dad.'

It was that boy that had given him purpose in his life for the first time in a long time. He had to be the kind of father to his son, that he'd wanted his own to be for him. Neal had gotten his family, and, he would do anything for it.

Before he'd known it 10 years had passed, and, his life had been alot more steady then it had been in years. After moving both of them to New York, Neal had changed his ways, and, gotten a steady job in order to provide for him, and, give him a father he'd be able to be proud of.

Or at least he hoped so. Neal wasn't really good at having people be proud of him, or even stick around. But, none of that mattered, it was the past and now all that mattered was the opinion of his son.

After getting home from work, Neal had brought home some food for him and Henry. Placing it on the table, Neal made his way towards his son's room, and, knocked gently on the door. "Hey Henry. Are you in there?"

❝ until you just miss it ❞

Henry Mills | What if Neal had raised Henry?

NEAL CASSIDY

THISKIDSNOTALRIGHT of Adoxography

Ten years ago he was left without a mother. Without a connection to her. He'd been sent to live with his father, something that he'd undoubtedly been blessed with. The little boy didn't know what to think, as he grew up with his father. Someone who loved him and cared for him and was responsible for him.

The young boy had been in his room, one that his father had set up for him since he was an infant. His father was great. Though he missed having a mom. Having someone that had a maternal touch. Living the life in the big city was incredible. He loved it, he loved his school. It was almost perfect. The only thing missing was his mother. His father never really talked about her and he didn't know why. Was she alive? Was she dead? He never really got that answer, but his thoughts were interrupted by a pounding at the door. It only sounded that way because it had been silent in the room beforehand.

"Yes dad, I'm in here." He'd said as he walked over to the door and opened it. "What are we having for dinner? I'm hungry." The ten year old boy asked as he couldn't help but be curious. He loved the fact that his father was home. For years he'd been staying with the neighbors who had agreed to watch him while his father had gone to work. They even had a daughter his age, named Violet. He'd started to develop a school kid crush. They talked every day before and after school. Even between classes. She was the closest friend he'd had. And that was great. He never told his father about her because he didn't know how to.

"Did you have a good day at work dad? School was alright. Only have one assignment and it's in English. Think I can get it done after dinner." He replied, normally he would have had it done but this one was a bit more difficult because he only had half the information. It was a report where they were supposed to talk about themselves. But because he only knew about his father--he didn't really know how to do a report to this magnitude. "It's got to do with my family tree, actually. But since it's only ever been us....you never talk about my mother. I suspect it's because it's too painful for you. Who is she? What happened to her? Did she not love me? How could she leave us?" He asked with a soft tone, to where it was barely a whisper.

Neal Cassidy

❝ You don't have a home ❞

Neal was sad that he couldn't give his son a mother, he knew what it was like and how it felt to be without one. But, he was going to focus on just being a father to his son.

He knew there were certain things that a father could never completely give his son, but, he was trying his best. Even with his father, he'd been longing for the maternal touch of a mother. Their life in New York had been different then it had been for any of his life before meeting Emma. While he had promised August he'd stay away from Emma, that didn't mean he stopped thinking about her. Besides he was sure his son would ask about her someday, and, he wanted to be able to tell him as much as he knew.

Watching the door open, Neal smiled at his son. "Well, I brought home some takeout food. We could eat it as that, or mix it in with some other stuff." Neal said, looking at Henry. He knew that he didn't have alot of people who he could trust in this world, so, he asked the neighbours to watch Henry after school. And, Henry seemed to like them, and, it there, so that was good enough for him. And his neighbours were the closest thing he had to friends.

"Actually I did. They miss seeing you around though. Well, glad to hear that. I'm sure you could figure it out." Neal knew that his son was good in school, better then he was, due to his foster care situation. If his son needed help, he would always be there if he needed it. Especially with school stuff. At the mention of the family tree, Neal lowered his head. "Well, Henry. Your mother is a woman by the name of Emma Swan. We met when she was 17 and I was about 19. We were both only recently out of the foster system. The two of us got into some trouble, well, I did, and, things got alot more complicated. Look, one thing I know was that she had always loved you, but, she might've thought you'd be better off. It wasn't because she left us, certain things and people got in the way, and, I let someone convince me to let her go." Neal paused before sighing softly, and, then grabbing a photo out of his wallet, and, then looking at Henry. "But, I think you should have this. It's the last picture I have of your mother. You seem to need it more then I do."

❝ until you just miss it ❞

Henry Mills

NEAL CASSIDY

THISKIDSNOTALRIGHT of Adoxography

The small boy sighed softly as he thought about wanting his mother. A mother figure was always important. And at his age that was all that he wanted, but never had. It wasn't that he didn't love his father, but he felt like he was unwanted by his mother. As why else would she not be there? Why else would she not have at least shown that he was a priority to her? Was there something wrong with him? All those questions he had seemed to be left unanswered. He'd wanted a maternal touch, someone that could tuck him in at night and read him books. Or do anything. Sure he had his father and there wasn't a day that went by that he wasn't grateful for his father actually being willing to stick it out unlike his mother.

The moment he walked through the door, he couldn't help but smiling at his father. "Where did you get the food from? Smells good. Do you think it needs mixed? And if so what do we have to mix it with?" He'd asked. Of course he didn't know if that mattered too much. Taking a deep breath he was ready to go eat. Of course having the neighbors that he got along with, and his father did too, it made it better. He only nodded as he thought about the class project he had to do. It wasn't his favorite topic after all. He listened with intensity as his father spoke about his mother. He wrote down what his father was saying about her so that he would have that information for the report. But when his father had said that he would have been better off, he shook his head. "Better off? Really? Well, it sounds to me like she left us. Doesn't matter what someone else says or does." He watched as his father took the picture out of his wallet and he was curious. Especially since he'd never really known his mother let alone what she looked like.

"Thanks Dad. She must have meant a great deal to you for you to keep her picture in your wallet." He replied softly. Still upset at hearing that his mother thought he'd be better off though he tried to hide it as best he could. As how else would he be expected to feel? He wanted his mother in his life. He wondered if his father would ever be able to contact her? Would she respond?

If he'd ever be able to tell her how miserable it was not knowing her. What hurt more than anything else was when his classmates talked about how great their moms were. How some of them had moms who were at home all the time, and some who had careers but still made time for them too. Like they were a top priority. Why hadn't his? Did he do something wrong? Was he a mistake?
 
Neal Cassidy

❝ You don't have a home ❞

When Neal had been growing up, he'd been desperate for a mother of his own. The closest thing he'd ever had was Ingrid, and, that wasn't even until he was 15 years old. He'd already been unwanted by two parents, Neal didn't want his son feeling unwanted by him. He knew that he had messed up with Emma, by leaving her to go to jail, but, the fact that she was willing to leave their son to the possibility of what they'd been through was something else entirely. He would always be there for his son, but, he knew that Henry probably wanted a maternal touch of his own.

Neal returned Henry's smile, as he entered his room. "Just the Chinese place down the road. Not really, but, you never know. I'm sure if you wanted to, we could find something. But, we probably don't need to." Neal said. He was sure it wouldn't matter too much though. The dinner was ready for them to eat. The neighbours were the first real people who'd he'd gotten along with for real in a long time, and, the fact that they looked after his son was a bonus for him. Neal had hated the 'family tree' projects when he was in class too. Because he'd had no-one to write about, his foster parents never counted. Speaking about Emma he smiled softly as he looked down at Henry writing things down. "The truth is, I was the one who left her. But, I never knew that your mother was pregnant with you at the time. You're right, it doesn't matter." Pulling the picture out of his wallet, Neal smiled softly at it before handing it to Henry.

"No problem buddy" Neal said, placing a gentle kiss on Henry's head before sighing softly as he mentioned about Emma meaning alot to him. "Yeah, she did." Neal sat there with Henry, before looking down at him. He recognised the look on his face about not being good enough for his mother, since his own had left him too. Neal would try to help his son and find Emma. Whether she would talk to him or not is beyond him, but, he would try.

Neal had spent his whole childhood wanting to be able to tell his own mother how he felt when she left. He'd heard so many people telling everyone about how their mothers were great and always there for them. Neal didn't want to let his son feel like that, and, he realised he should change the subject. "Hey, why don't I help you with this report?" Neal asked, smiling down at him. "You'll get better marks for having visuals right?"

❝ until you just miss it ❞

Henry Mills

NEAL CASSIDY

THISKIDSNOTALRIGHT of Adoxography

It was strange, of course. He'd always wanted, no needed his mother. To have a maternal touch, but he'd had none of that. Yes he'd had his father, but that was all that he'd had. He truthfully knew nothing else. His father perhaps had kept him in the dark. Still, he was growing up and while most kids knew a little about his family he really and truthfully knew oh so little. It wasn't right that his mother had chosen to leave him. To never be there at all. Though while his mother hadn't been there, his father was. Instead of leaving him to be put through the system. To know the feeling of being completely unwanted or unloved. Still as he watched his father enter his room, it almost felt surreal. The smile that his father gave him was a genuine one. "No, that's quite alright. It's fine." He was ready to eat.

It was not the first time he'd made a friend. Though the neighbors nearby were helpful people. And he'd had a crush on their daughter for as long as well he could remember. Violet was kind hearted, and always treated him with such kindness. The two had been good friends and well was it really that surprising that he'd fallen for her? To truly love her, even if he wasn't a hundred percent sure that was what it was. Or if it was simply infatuation. But that was besides the point.

The family tree project was one that he disliked simply because he didn't have much of a family left anymore. "Even if you were the one who left Mom, she could have had another choice. Whether you two ended up staying apart or not, she could have at least put in a little effort when it came to me. But no, it's like I'm not important to her at all." Which was how he'd felt for a long time. Taking the picture from his father he looked at it carefully. He'd wanted a mother for so long and to hear that his own had not wanted him hurt more than words could ever describe. At the tender kiss his father displaced upon his head, it was real. More so than the mother who'd left him.

For years he'd tried to understand why. Why all the kids in class seemed to have one and he didn't. No one seemed to understand that he missed his mom. That he wanted to know her. Even if it was only briefly. He just apparently wasn't good enough for his mother. And if he wasn't good enough for her, could he be good enough for anyone else? It was heart-wrenching. But when his father caught his attention by offering to help him with the report, he could only nod. "Yes, but do you have any other pictures or was the one of my mother it?" He'd asked as he'd never seen pictures of any other family member. Because it wasn't like his father had displayed any on the wall. The only pictures, albeit the few there were, were of the two of them. Which wasn't all too bad. Could have been a lot worse.

Neal Cassidy

❝ You don't have a home ❞

Neal had always wanted, or needed his mother around. Especially after his father had become the Dark One. He'd wanted a comfort from her touch. Much like Henry only having him, he had only ever had his father around. And by the end he didn't even have him in his life. Neal hadn't known much about his mother, or his grandparents. His papa had refused to talk about any of them to him. Neal wished he could tell his son about his grandparents, the ones that left him behind. But, if he told the whole truth he wouldn't believe any of it anyway. Neal knew that he was not going to be one to leave his son to go through that foster system, since not all of them got adopted, even at a young age. They were all left feeling empty and unwanted. Looking at Henry, Neal thought it always felt surreal. That he actually had family around now. "Ok then." Neal was ready to eat if Henry was.

Those neighbours were the first friends he'd made in a long time. At least they had a kid around Henry's age so that he wouldn't be completely bored there. Neal hadn't had much of that his age. Aside from the families, but, they hadn't actually been a 'friend' to him, let alone a family. Well, other then the one 'brother' he'd had living with Ingrid. He'd been the closest thing in a long time, but, it didn't last in the end.

Neal knew the pain of family tree projects, when you don't have alot of family, if any to include on it. "Look I know how you feel buddy. When I was 5, your grandmother walked out on me and your grandfather. She was able to leave me for a new life with someone else. I wasn't important to her in the end either." Neal had felt like this for a long time now. Handing Henry the picture of Emma, Neal just looked down at it, as he thought back to the moment that picture was taken. He kissed his son, to know that he still wanted him around. Alot like his father had done.

He'd spent so long trying to wonder how he was one of the only people who was unable to have a mother, and, in the end even his father. No-one, not even his father had been able to tell how much he had wanted his mother. Even just for one more day. But, Neal had just not been good enough for her. Let alone anyone else, especially after his father let him go. It was probably better to change the subject for both of them, rather then focus on thoughts like that, for both of them. "Well, I don't have any photos, but, I have a couple of other things you could take. And, I could probably draw your grandparents for you. They may have left me when I was a kid, but, I can still remember what they look like. Actually, I already have some, or at least one, of each of them." Neal still had his old childhood art-book, which had a picture of both his mother and his father inside of it, which Henry could take if he needed to.

❝ until you just miss it ❞

Henry Mills

NEAL CASSIDY

THISKIDSNOTALRIGHT of Adoxography

The young boy wanted more, he wanted his mother around. He was still all so grateful that at least his father was brave enough to not abandon him. To actually care and be there the way that a kid deserved. There were times where all he wanted was to feel his mother's presence. To know that she loved him and cared about him but he wasn't sure she ever did. Because how could anyone abandon their child? He never did understand how anyone could do it. He'd of course believed that all things were possible. Now, he was grateful that his father hadn't just decided to put him through the system, to go through house after house, without ever feeling like he was home, or wanted. Looking toward his father, he felt stronger. It may not have been much but this was his family. Still as his stomach was rumbling he was ready to eat.

When his father wasn't able to be with him he was with the neighbors. And they'd had a daughter his age and she was absolutely brilliant. He couldn't help but fall for her, though he'd kept that a secret. But the two of them had enjoyed much of the same things. When it came to family tree projects they sucked. He didn't like any of it. When his father spoke about his grandmother, it made him sick to his stomach. Why were all the women in their family just able to leave their children? Why did they think that it was okay to leave? Shaking his head in disappointment, he didn't really know what to say. "I don't get it, I really don't Dad. I guess I don't understand what is more important than being with your child. How--I just I can't even grasp it." It was saddening as he looked toward his father. When his father had handed him the picture of his mother, it was heartbreaking, but he was glad to at least have something of his mother. But while his mother hadn't cared much, his father had. And that, meant the world to him.

While he tried not to think of his mother, and what it felt like not to have one, he knew he needed to put that pain away. To put the best foot forward however he could. He nodded once as he wondered what his father had in mind. "What kind of things could I take? That'd be nice to see them, even if it is just a drawing. Just to see where I come from as it were. Still, this isn't my favorite type of project because it's just a reminder of how little we have. I'm grateful at least that you stuck around when you didn't have to, so thanks." As it stood, he was just ready to put that past behind him and to look toward something better. Something brighter, his own future. Though honestly, in a lot of ways, he knew that it had to start with this project. What came after, was unknown.

Neal Cassidy

❝ You don't have a home ❞

Neal could tell that his son wanted more from his life, which he wished he could give him. But, he'd stuck around and refused to abandon him. He did his best when it came to his son. Neal had spent a long time wanting a maternal touch of his own, to know what it felt like. And to know that she had loved and cared about him. But, his mother hadn't. She'd chosen to abandon him all those years ago. One thing he never understood was how someone could do that to their child. Neal had stepped up to be a parent the minute he found out about his son, and, August had brought him to him. He refused to let his son go through the system like he was forced to. Neal had been bounced from home to home, with no feeling of love or home. Well, until his last home with Ingrid. Neal felt strong when he was with his son. Henry was his purpose and strength. Henry was his family and his home.

Neal tried to be with his son as much as he could, but, he knew he couldn't always be there and so Henry stayed with the neighbors and their young daughter. At least Henry was able to be with someone his own age when he stayed there. Neal had hated family tree projects when he was a kid too. They just brought up alot of pain. Speaking of his mother made Neal feel sick and sad. He didn't know how his mother had been able to abandon him so easily as she'd made it seem. "I don't get it either. That's just it, you shouldn't have to understand. Because nothing should be more important then your child. Both of my parents should've figured that out." Neal had a sad tone on his face as he looked at Henry. Handing him the photo of Emma, he just smiled softly before glancing down at his son. He was glad to be able to give his son something related to his mother. Neal cared for his son, more then his own parents had for him.

He tried not to think of his parents, especially his mother who left when he was 5. Neal needed to put that pain behind him, like he had been for a long time. "Well, you know that dream-catcher in the living room. That's something that your mother and I had, it's a part of the family history. Yeah, knowing where you come from is nice. Those drawings might be a good start, they were all I had. It's ok, I never liked them either, but, at least you have more then I did when I was your age. It's no problem Henry, I'll always be here for you." Neal placed a light kiss on the top of Henry's head. Thinking back on the past wasn't getting them anywhere. So, they could only look towards the future that the two of them would be able to have together as a family. Their future.

❝ until you just miss it ❞

Henry Mills

NEAL CASSIDY

THISKIDSNOTALRIGHT of Adoxography

Sitting with his father, he felt whole. Or at least more so than he usually felt. Maybe it was because he was starting to get to know who his mother had been, even if she hadn't wanted to be there for him. What kind of person would abandon their children? Even if it was for their "best chance." The only comfort he got out of this whole thing was the fact that his father did as best he could for him, and for their relationship. A part of him was missing, and always would be until he knew his mother. To know whether she was alive or dead, the not knowing was in part what was difficult to accept.

He'd wanted to know what it was like, to have a mother. To have a maternal figure in his life that would be there for him and to accept him for how and who he was. It was something he'd never understand, for why someone could do that to someone that they created. Children like himself never asked to come into the world, they didn't have a choice. The parents did. In this case, at least his father had stepped up when his mother hadn't. His father had been there ever since he could remember. Thanks to August. It wasn't to say that he always felt loved or wanted. Because while his father did his best to ensure that he felt that love, there was a piece of him that doubted whether he truly was. Not by his father of course but because of his mother and what she'd decided. Her choice affected him more than she knew.

It made it hard to believe that even if his mother would come back into his life, that he would even be able to forgive her and to welcome her back into his life with open arms. Trusting women--was hard. Even with his school teachers he'd kept them all at least at arms' length. Now the male teachers he was chatty and open with, but the women--he was as closed off as possible. He remembered one teacher telling the other that it was like he was two different kids. It had been that way until Violet had changed schools. Once she was there, it was like he was able to finally open up. She was the first girl that he was able to say with absolute certainty was his best friend. The two could talk about anything and everything.

But in a way, the only reason he disliked going to the neighbors, though he never let it show, was the fact that he could see what a true happy family was like. With both parents there who loved and doted on their child. It was hard to see. But at the same time, he didn't want to not go there either. So it didn't help that he was stuck between a rock and a hard place, as always. All he could do was be there for the people who mattered most to him. Especially as there weren't many of them.

Family tree projects sucked. There was just no getting around them. What had always made it difficult is he could see other students' and how theirs reached back generations down the line. Whereas he knew little to no information on his mother's side and his father's wasn't all that big either. Taking a deep breath he listened to what his father had to say in regards to the conversation. "I know, but I still don't. You at least were here--are here. I just I guess I don't understand it, maybe I'm not supposed to. But at least, I suppose you know what it's like enough not to put me through that, so thank you. You know it's hard, seeing all these happy families, I have kids in my class that, it seems like everybody has their entire family. I was talking to Violet and some of the others and their family tree goes back generations. Far more than just the great grandparents but I look at mine and it's like I know nothing of my mother's because she chose not to be around, and then yours--well I'm still working on it. But at least, I now have a picture of my mother. Is that why you kept it after all this time, because it belonged to you both? Drawings like this are better than nothing, I suppose. Though I'd have preferred you know the real thing. Like having my mother here for example. Yeah I suppose I have a lot more than I started out with. Sorry you didn't have that when you were my age." It was comforting when his father placed a light kiss on the top of his head. His father was making promises of always being there for him and he had to appreciate that. And to take his word on it. Holding onto the past wasn't easy and perhaps it truly was time to just let it go. To maybe not forget where they came from but to forgive and move on. They couldn't go back in time so they had to focus on the here and the now, and focus on their future too.

Neal Cassidy

❝ You don't have a home ❞

Being here with his son, Neal felt more whole then he had in a long time. After his parents abandoned him, Neal had felt empty, and, they were holes in his heart that would never be filled. Neal hoped he was helping Henry fill a part of him, by answering some questions. His own questions may always be left unanswered, but, at least he could help his son. Neal could never understand how someone could abandon a child like that. Their child. But, Neal hoped that Henry knew he would do anything to provide for him, and, had done so since he was a baby. Despite the feeling his son gave him, there would be a part of him that would always be missing. The part that would never be whole, because his mother had died a long time ago. But, he hated not being able to confront her, or his father.

Neal had spent so long wanting to know what a mother was like. The maternal touch of a parent, it had been so long he couldn't even remember. What they were supposed to feel like. He had never asked to come into the world, but, he had been born. And, his parents hadn't bothered to keep him. Luckily thanks to August, Neal had been able to keep his son, and, be there for him. Back, before coming to this world, Neal may have had his father, but, he doubted he felt loved and wanted. The actions of the man, and, the fact that his mother just took off made him unsure. Neal didn't want his son to feel that way.

If his mother ever came back somehow, and, found her way to this world he wasn't sure he would ever completely welcome her back into his life. She'd been gone for so long, and, he couldn't forgive her for that. His trust issues had always been low when it came to anyone in his childhood after reaching this world. Neal had been somewhat closed off to everyone, male and female teachers alike. They seemed to feel bad for him, because of the whole foster kid thing. The only person he'd ever opened up to was Ingrid, and, his foster brothers from that house. For the smallest amount of time he'd found someone to talk to, until his brothers were sent to a new home.

Sometimes he had disliked some of the families he saw around the towns, and, outside of the school. Seeing both parents there, offering their kids love, wanting them around. Neal hadn't wanted to be there, but, he knew he had to be. Alot of the time, the foster parents never showed up anyway, so he always walked himself home, having to watch so many families on his way. He hated it, and, it always broke his heart.

The project 'family tree' sucked, but, there was no avoiding it if he wanted to get the marks, which he'd always needed as a kid, in order to stay in certain homes. The other students had always had family trees full of relatives, some they'd never met, but, were a part of them. And then there was him, with not even a father to put on the tree. "Neither do I. Of course I'm here. Yeah, I was never going to put you through that. I know, when I was in the system, I saw so many people having family trees full of levels and branches. I didn't even have your grandparents. I honestly don't know much about them, except for the fact that your grandmother had left when I was 5, and, your grandfather took off and left me behind when I turned 14. Yeah you do. Yeah, I guess it was. Sometimes they are. You and me both Henry, I would've settled for just one of them. I am too, I really am." The promise to always be there for his son is one he would always keep. Neal was never going to let his son feel the way he did. Looking back on the past wasn't getting them anywhere, it was always best to look at the present and wait for the future to happen. Which he had ever intention of doing, making a future with his son.

❝ until you just miss it ❞

Henry Mills

NEAL CASSIDY

THISKIDSNOTALRIGHT of Adoxography

Was it wrong for him to want his mother in his life? He'd always had his father and he was grateful for that. That at least one of his parents were there for him when he needed them most. He would never understand how someone could leave their child the way that his mother left him. Even if he was fortunate to have at least had his father. Whereas it sounded like his father hadn't had that option. Would it be possible for that to still happen? He had wanted a mother, his mother for so long. To know what it was like to have her there. To know that she loved him as much as he loved her--or wanted to. He knew he belonged here, with his father and having Violet so close by. He wasn't afraid of it.

Trust was a precious commodity and once broken it was hard to get back. He knew that. That was why he had always been honest and true. To never hurt anyone. He'd been closed off, to most people because of his circumstances but he never hurt anyone. He had wanted to know what it was like, to have a mother there. To know that he had one, but she had chosen not to be in his life had hurt. Was she still alive? Did she not care about him at all? It always hurt seeing those kids with both parents there, showing the love he wished he had. Yes he'd had his father, but that was all he'd had. He supposed that had to be enough. Because he'd no choice. He couldn't just leave school just because he saw this on a daily basis.

And the project of the 'family tree' sucked. What was he supposed to do when he knew oh so little? Make it up? Put names that he wasn't even sure he was connected to on those slots just for a good grade? He knew many people in his class would have their family trees filled to the brim, branch after branch of information when all he'd really had was the name of his father and the name of his mother. He'd had no aunts or uncles that he knew of. He didn't even have any grandparents. How pitiful was that? He may have had more than his own father had but not by much. "I'm glad. You put me first. That's absolutely crazy. How could anyone walk away from their child? I just I don't get it. Your parents--my grandparents...how could they do that? It's things like that....I won't ever understand. I know, and I'm grateful that you'd stepped up when you did so I didn't have to go through the system. You're strong Dad. For having gone through it and to ensure the cycle doesn't continue." He didn't want to keep repeating the past. All he wanted was to find his family.

Did any of them other than his father--were any of them still alive? Maybe at first he could just find their names and track them down. As he continued writing things down he looked back from his work and up at his father. He wondered what the future would hold. Was this it? Could he find more answers? He looked at the drawings that his father had and smiled. "Were these ones you drew yourself?" He asked out of curiosity. He wasn't taking anything for granted anymore.

Neal Cassidy

❝ You don't have a home ❞

Since he was 5 he had wanted a mother, for a while he'd had his father, which he was grateful for, but, he'd given up on him, leaving him to be alone. While it may be possible for Henry to find Emma one day, and, have him in her life, he knew it wasn't an option for him. For countless years he'd been without a mother's touch or comfort. It had been over 2 centuries before he'd gotten a sense of what came close when he was placed with Ingrid.

It is hard for Neal to trust most people, after all the betrayals he'd felt. Neal tried to be as honest about everything he did in his life. Well, almost everything. He had been closed off, but, he'd never hurt anyone, well without it being out of love. Neal had never really gotten over the fact that his mother had chosen not to be in his life before she died. It had hurt, especially after his father leaving him. Seeing all of those kids with both of their parents had usually been hard for him to handle. Especially when it had reminded him of what he didn't have. He'd had nothing, but, foster parents who had never given a crap about loving him. There had been times when it was too much to handle, and, he'd taken off from school.

Neal had hated doing the family trees project, he had known little, even before being sent to this world. He had put pictures of his parents, in order to get it done, but, that was all he could really put. Sitting there in class, and, watching everyone with their extended family trees, had just made Neal feel bad. He didn't have any aunts or uncles, no grand-parents. Heck, he hadn't even had parents. "Of course I put you first. Honestly I don't know Henry, sometimes people are just selfish in their lives. I'd do it as many times as I had to, anything's better then going through that. I've been strong for a long time, thanks to you I'm able to be stronger."

He knew for a fact that his father was still alive, since that Dark One thing gave him immortality. But, he knew he was still in the Forest, since that was the life he chose. Neal wondered if this was his life, he wondered if he would ever really get his answers. Neal showed Henry the drawings, and, nodded at his question. "Yeah I did." Neal glanced at Henry, before looking at the pictures. "This is your grandmother." Neal said, handing him one drawing. "And this" Neal paused before choking back the catch in his throat as he glanced at the other picture. "Is your grandfather. And me when I was about your age." Neal handed both of the drawings to Henry before wiping away the slight tears that had come to his eyes as he spoke of his parents.

❝ until you just miss it ❞

Henry Mills

NEAL CASSIDY

THISKIDSNOTALRIGHT of Adoxography

He had wanted a mother, his mother with him. To feel the warmth of a mother's touch. But he'd had to come to the conclusion at his age that she just for whatever reason hadn't cared. That she didn't want him. And that was a devastating feeling to have. But at least his papa, his father wanted him. After all he'd been with his father ever since August had brought him to his father, when he was just a baby. But it also reminded him about having a home. "That’s how you know you’ve really got a home: When you leave it, there’s this feeling that you can’t shake. You just miss it." It was a quote he'd heard his dad use once and it always had stuck with him.  It was one that he'd repeated more than once, even to kids at school.

Trusting people wasn't always easy. But at least he wasn't betrayed the way his father was. But what he knew that it hurt, nevertheless whenever he had seen kids with both their moms and dads. He handled it because he had his father, if he hadn't had him, he didn't know what he'd do. There wasn't much when it came to family tree type stuff. He hated the project mainly because he knew so little. Sure he might have had a little more than his father had had, but even that wasn't much. But at least he'd had something. Truth was, he didn't think he had any aunts or uncles, at least not that he was aware of. And barely knew anything about his grandparents other than what his father had told him. But with his mother, he knew even less.

He listened to his father, but nothing was making sense. He loved his father and was grateful to have him in his life, as he continued to write down all that he knew. All that his father was able to tell him. "I'm glad dad. I'm glad I was able to make you be stronger." Yet as he looked at the drawings, it was eerie. Though he'd had good drawings. It was incredible how the drawings were. "So that's my great grandmother and grandfather...do you know what happened to them, I mean I know you said they abandoned you. But did you ever find out what happened to them? Are they still alive?" He'd asked as he could see how much his father's parents had hurt him. It was easy enough to see.
But he couldn't help but be curious where they had both come from. 

Neal Cassidy